“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:7
I thought this tunnel was intriguing when my husband and I drove through it earlier today. So much so that I quickly snapped a photo.
We were on our way home from a Louisiana Thanksgiving with family and decided to stop to rest for the night before continuing on tomorrow. We enjoyed our family time but all good things must come to an end and life must return to normal. Right?
As we prepared to leave my sister’s home, there were tears. My grand boy cried crocodile tears and begged us to stay until Christmas. And reluctantly, hot tears streamed down my face as well. All the pent-up emotions I’d been safely guarding for the last week suddenly exploded in a full waterworks show.
If you’ve been hanging out here around “my porch” (this blog site) for any length of time, you’ll know our son has been deceased for five years now and I’ve been living through and learning a lot about grief. Although I’ve done the hard work and have given time and space for it, sometimes I still get tunnel vision. What I mean is that there are times when the grief wave is so strong that I cannot see or feel anything else. Like today.
Tunnel vision.
Grief is a great space to experience it. Tunnel vision happens on a consistent basis when we first begin the grief journey. However, as we continue walking down this path, doing the hard work, and allowing God to heal, we begin to learn how to navigate it more gracefully.
In real life, tunnel vision is sometimes treated with eye drops which help to lower the pressure and also by draining the fluid from the eye. The tunnel vision I’m speaking of is comparable. We have to deal with grief instead of ignoring it and just hoping it will go away. It won’t! We must do what we need to in order to lower the pressure loss creates. We also heal by crying, or draining the fluid. I cannot count the number of times I’ve been told that tears bring healing. True story!
The tunnel reminded me that I need to stop and take some time to process the emotions I’ve been guarding. It also reminded me that there might be others who need to hear this message.
We are none exempt from experiencing grief nor the tunnel vision which can result because of it.
Get help! Find a safe person to talk to. Give yourself grace! Don’t ignore it. Give yourself time and know that grief is as individual and as different as we are. Don’t compare yourself to someone else who may be grieving! And know that, no matter what, God is there and will be present through it all if you’ll ask Him. We don’t have to do this alone.
Tunnel vision? It’s real, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. We’ll always carry scars from grief but we can slowly begin to heal and learn a new balance. Life doesn’t have to end with loss and grief; together we can learn to carry it with dignity. We can walk this road hand in hand and also help others who join us along the way.
I pray this has helped someone. It did me, and gave me permission to be OK, to stop and feel, to make space for a few more tears of release this evening -- and to offer you hope.
Tunnel vision is a space that gives us permission to pause in our journey before we continue on. Tunnel vision reminds us that there is an “end of the tunnel”, grief may not end but we will one day be able to see our way forward in a new way. And we have this promise, that God will keep our hearts and minds along the way.
Blessings~
*Please feel free to leave a comment, share with a friend who is grieving or ask for help. We’re in this together.