The Rhythm of Motherhood

“Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”

Romans 12:-5

It’s almost Mother’s Day, and what a glorious day it is. The celebration of life, nurturing, loving and guiding is a tribute to those who carried us in their womb and brought our lives into and up in this great big, crazy world of ours. We also celebrate those special moms who chose their children thru the long, tedious journey of adoption. It’s a great day! Thank you to all the mothers out there. We wouldn’t be here without you!

For some, it’s a day to celebrate being that person for someone else too. All the loving, sacrificing, disciplining and “seeing about” you do doesn’t go unnoticed — even though some days you might not be so sure about that. You’re doing a great job and seasons will change. Being a mom is a high calling, requires big sacrifice and much prayer. Thank you for what you’re doing!

There are songs, flowers, cards, gifts, social media posts, special church services and breakfasts, reservations for lunch or dinner, phone calls and pictures snapped all day long to capture this moment in time. We do it in hopes of showing love, appreciation and honor to the woman who fit one of these roles. Even for those ladies who have no biological or adopted children of their own, but mentor as if they were, they usually receive honor in some way as well.

Again, it’s a wonderful day to celebrate all the things. However, for some it’s another experience all together. It’s a day for remembering, desiring and wishing. For these dear people, instead of all the pomp and circumstance, there are often visits to cemeteries, the hard decision to even get out of bed, long afternoons of silence and perhaps waiting for a knock at the door, or grabbing a box of tissues and some old photographs from a closet or taking a browse through an IPhone to remember. Instead of sweet gifts, they experience tears and the ache of broken hearts.

Maybe their mother has passed on from this life, they haven’t been able to conceive, they’ve miscarried once too often, they’ve experienced the death of a child/children, they may have had a bad childhood or any other type of situation life throws at them, it’s simply a HARD day. Along with all those celebrating their mom or for being one themselves, remember there are those around us possibly experiencing the flip side too. Be kind.

Today as I browsed social media, this was all too apparent to me. It’s people’s real life stories and situations; some are celebrating while others are grieving. Brokenhearted. I’m so glad God is extra close to those hearts! He holds each hurting heart close to His. He sees every tear that falls. I’m so thankful He gives joy which isn’t regulated by our roles in this life. It’s a beautiful thing to have tears streaming down the face yet experience peace within our heart. True, it may hurt and we may be sad, but we’re “okay not to be okay” and it’s very normal.

Someone said today that it’s the “new” normals which are hard to experience, and that is very true. It never gets any easier or less painful, with each year we simply become more accustomed to carrying the burden with a little more grace. However, it is normal to feel all the pain of grief this day may bring. It’s just as real as the celebrating!

So, whatever category you may find yourself in this weekend, be sure to give grace to yourself and to others too. The tears may be hidden and saved for behind closed doors, but they’re just as present as the dancing smiles you see as another photo is snapped to catch this memory for the books. There is joy, there is pain. Isn’t that the rhythm of motherhood after all? A baby is born with much pain and suffering, but very quickly those memories are erased by the joy they experience with new life.

Just this morning, I was hit with a grief wave all the sudden as I looked at this little, wooden heart my firstborn and his Daddy made for me one Valentine’s Day many years ago. The thought popped into my mind without warning, “Was he even real?” A first for me and quite shocking — and scary if I’m honest. That’s what I dealt with today, even as I looked with joy at a photo of myself and my oldest son from several Mother’s Days ago, and I thought of my own mother who has passed on, and my daughter which lives hours away and I’ll not be spending Mother’s Day with yet again. Oh, the price we pay for loving!

This is my place to post and share, so this is my story and experience — I’m not the only one feeling it all though. There are all kinds of stories out there. Let’s rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. That’s the full scope and sequence of Mother’s Day.

God bless every lady out there this weekend and may He continue to give you the strength you need to make it each and every day.