And, today I found myself working like crazy, trying to not only get my world back in order after a crazy, hectic weekend, but also trying to avoid the unavoidable. That constant tug and wave of grief is wrapping me up today. I’m a soggy mess, and that’s completely alright. It’s my journey — and I’m not alone.
I have always enjoyed the holidays, but it’s definitely not quite the same any more. Seems I hold on tighter to the people I can still touch and desperately grasp for memories of the ones who have gone ahead of us. There are traditions, songs, sights, sounds, smells, and foods which bring both joy and pain. Joy that we made the memories and the pain of knowing that’s all there is left, besides the love which will never die.
I realize I’m not the only person feeling the pain of loss this Christmas season, but for everyone out there missing someone...my prayer is that you’ll allow God to wrap you up too.
No matter where we are on our journey, we all continue to experience grief in our own unique ways. There are different triggers for each of us and we each respond and cope in different ways. I won’t be foolish enough to deny that my heart is bleeding again, as yours most likely is, but this I know...
God is big enough to wrap us up, carry us, strengthen and comfort us in our brokenness.
I didn’t say He’d take the pain away; that would mean He’d have to separate us from Himself. God is love. Taking away the pain would mean the love we feel for those we’ve lost would no longer exist. We wouldn’t want that, would we? Truly, that is what we have left.
So, my friend, we will surely shed tears, experience waves of sadness, relive happier moments and long to hear those voices and laughter once more — that’s normal. Feel all the things you need to!
God is big enough and loves us extravagantly enough to be present with us through our pain.
I write this post to remind myself of this truth too, and to speak out in hopes of encouraging you to hold on to God as He holds on to you this season. This is one of the reasons He came, to be acquainted with our grief. To conquer death. Sure, it doesn’t take the pain away but it does give us hope of a better day to come when there will be no more sadness, sorrow, pain or death.
Merry Christmas to the many hearts out there who need just a little bit more comfort and joy this Christmas season. Let’s cherish all the precious memories of life as we continue to make new ones with those still present. Our deceased loved ones would want that for us.
Eat a favorite recipe, enjoy songs through the tears, keep some old traditions alive, ride the waves of grief, and don’t forget to celebrate life. The life of those who have gone on, the life we live with those still around us, and the life of a baby born in a Bethlehem manger.
We are not alone, Emmanuel, God with us. Thats the true and best Christmas wrap!