“…but thou hast kept the good wine until now.” John 2:10
It’s Motorcycle Awareness Month. Today, I changed my Facebook cover and profile picture in memory of my firstborn, Steffan “Runkle” Hardesty. And, while I could write about grief and child loss again today, I choose to write about the blessing of losing.
Yes, I want to share the impact grief and loss can have on us when we allow it to work “for” us. Just as there are two sides to most everything in our lives, so there is with grief. There’s the sorrowful side that is so painful we wish we had never experienced it; and the other side we fight viciously for, learn how to navigate and recognize it as priceless because of the values we’ve gained along the way.
Recently, as I walked into my local Walmart, I noticed two ladies in front of me attempting to get their carts unhooked. (I’m pretty certain we’ve all been the recipients of those carts which have been handcuffed by those crazy child-seat locks.) As I looked on awaiting my turn to “free” a cart, I noticed the little lady in the front wiping tears away.
I continued observing the pair and suddenly heard these words, “Don’t cry!”
My heart began beating wildly and I felt anger arise within. How could this lady tell her friend not to cry? I don’t know about you, but whenever I cry, something’s really wrong. I don’t just shed tears for exercise! Crying is a normal response unless we’re emotionless and cold-hearted like a robot. Tears are signs that something is amiss.
Needless to say, I eventually got my cart and headed into the store to get what I went for. Mind your own business, girl, and let them handle theirs. Right? However, after I had carted my items, I came upon them again. I slowly and cautiously approached the little lady who had been crying. (You never know how people will respond since Covid-19.)
I softly mentioned that I had seen her crying and realized she must be having a rough time.
There we stood, the three of us. Me, this sweet, hurting lady, and Jesus in the produce aisle at Walmart. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, lifted her up in prayer, and left her with a blessing for her day. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes again…and smiled.
Yes! I’m still shocked and can hardly believe reserved “me” did that, but my heart went out to her and I just had to offer some hope for her in that moment. That’s what allowing grief to work “for” us can look like.
No! I haven’t always been that way. Tragedy and loss have a way of changing us for the better if we’ll allow it not to turn us bitter. God can use ANYTHING for the good.
It’s our choice to receive what He changes from ashes to beauty.
We WILL change when grief touches our lives, but it can be for the good.
At this stage in life, I am now friends with several ladies who have lost sons. We’re all at different stages in our walk, but we have developed a sensitivity to the hurts of others because of the pain we’ve endured ourselves. We're learning to "count it all joy" but it doesn't come easy. It’s true, you cannot understand someone else unless you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
That goes for anyone, in any type of situation. Who can we show compassion to now like never before because we’ve faced trials in our own lives? How differently do we look on people now? Do we respond differently? With more compassion? Grace? Mercy?
True, it doesn’t just happen; we have to do the hard work of allowing Jesus to make the end taste better than the first. It’s kind of like the wine at the wedding when Jesus performed His first miracle.
He can work the miracle, but we must bring the vessels (ourselves) to Him.
I might not always get it right like I did that day in Walmart, but I want to recognize and be alert for hurting souls in my path. What about you? Isn’t that what Jesus did while on this earth? Aren’t we most like Him when we’re acting like Him?
I invite you to step beyond your circumstances and into God’s upside down economy where He says we’re blessed “if.” Yes, it's painful and there will be tears, but life isn't supposed to be without pain. Let God show us the blessing of losing, and allow us to pour out of our loss and hurt, beauty which cannot be fathomed or learned any other way. He truly does save the best for last!
Blessings on you and yours today ~