I sit here sharing with you in the early morning light. Breakfast was served in my household about thirty minutes ago, and now all is quiet again. Here I am, just me and my puppy enjoying a bit of peace and quietness before my day becomes too involved.
In the last several years, I've learned quite a lot about gratitude. I am aware that being grateful for things, even the smallest of them, can turn a negative perspective around and get it going in the correct direction. Gratitude can often help ward off bouts of depressive moments. Ask me how I know! It's true.
I'm not the person who goes around seeing sunshine on a rainy day, nor do I look at the storm and plan a picnic anyhow. I also am not the most positive person in the world. Fact. I can look at a plan and quickly consider all the ways it may fail before it gets underway. I guess I'm a glass-half-empty gal. I know, but people like me are needed in this world too. We bring our own strengths.
I suppose I've come to realize too that ALL of our emotions have their place in our lives. We need joy in order to know sadness. We need anger to know when we're at peace. Emotions aren't bad, they're neutral - indicators. (I know I'm not the originator of this thought, yet I know not who to give credit to.) People often mislabel emotions and the people who are open about having them. When my son suddenly left this world, wouldn't it have been odd for me NOT to be sad? When a child has a bad relationship, isn't it okay to allow them the experience of sadness? When someone is robbed, isn't it logical for them to be fearful? These examples are as true as being happy when you celebrate with a victory lap after winning or feeling joy when a new baby arrives.
Gratitude. AND.
I used to say, "I feel like my heart is breaking; I'm not going to get thru this day" and leave it at that. Lately, I've found myself saying things like, "I'm sad AND I'm thankful you're here to pray for and help me thru this season." AND allows room to experience something negative but adds a sprinkling of positive too.
Who doesn't need a few sprinkles in their life today?
It takes work at first, and I'm not a pro, mind you; however, it's slowly becoming a new way of expressing myself. Stating the fact and showing gratitude together. It doesn't have to be either/or...it can be this AND. That little three-letter word can make all the difference. I like to refer to it as "another needed descriptive". In other words, this is what I'm feeling or experiencing AND this is an added part that makes this more bearable.
Pretend with me here: you walk into a room and see a trash can overflowing. You now have two options. 1) You can gripe and complain about some nut job who put the last piece of garbage into that container without taking it out (been there, done that), or 2) You can be grateful someone was in the room to put something in the container.(I've done this a couple times now too!) It's like two sides of a coin. Ladies, we can be frustrated because there are dishes to clean up and laundry to do, or we can have gratitude that there are people living in our home which makes the work all possible. There are a million different scenarios. A person can not be satisfied with their low-paying job or be thankful they have one.
I learned this concept accidentally from a dear friend. I didn't see the value of it at first, in fact, it drove me nuts when she'd flip a scenario on me; but I suppose the Lord put her there to help condition me because one day I found myself thinking this way and sharing it with someone else. Iron sharpens iron, right? What used to drive me nuts, I now consider a blessing. That right there is a type of AND statement!
I suppose what I'm saying is that life is full of both negative and positive - the truth is, the negative often outweighs the positive. That's just the way it is! However, if we can look through the lens' of gratitude AND be honest, we can express ourselves in a true fashion AND not become labeled as Sad Sally or Debby Downer. We shouldn't be afraid to state the obvious - "I'm hurting", but let's not stop there. Find an AND to add to the equation - another needed descriptive. "I'm hurting right now AND I know I'm not alone, God sees me and knows exactly where I am."
There's nothing wrong with being honest, but stacking a negative with a positive is so much more impactful on us and for the person we're speaking with.
Just a little something to think about today. Give it a try, as you go through your day look for a chance to try this concept out. It's not easy at first, but give it time. We don't have to hide the hard parts, being honest allows other people to step into our lives to be a blessing to us and allows us to heal; adding an AND might be the factor of inviting someone in and not scaring them away too. I'm experienced with that as well. The Bible tells us God made us in His image, that we are His masterpieces. He made us emotional beings, gave us expressions to be able to show what we're feeling and I believe He also allows us the opportunity to grow. Join me in this simple little AND moment and let me know how your day (life) changes for the better, because I almost guarantee you it will.
Be blessed today...even if you're feeling stressed AND express yourself in an honest manner. Start with a little dose of gratitude sprinkled on top of your negative. In this day and hour of which we live, people need the freedom to be honest AND the opportunity to heal and recover from the hard stuff. They also need to know that the hard stuff isn't the only stuff. There is hope, we just have to alter our perspectives AND learn to respond differently. Let's love and support each other AND help each other grow and become better versions of ourselves. The world needs all of us.
Let's do this together.
A special thanks to God & to a special friend who modeled this for me - even though it made me crazy for some time. God knew I needed you!
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