"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
so that Christ’s power may rest on me."
2 Corinthians 12:9
Yeah, I said it. Well, I didn't actually say it out loud. It was scribbled boldly and deliberately upon a square, pink sticky note.
In the past, I have been the determined, non-stop, don't turn around type of gal that keeps her nose to the plow come what may. Dirt on my face? Don't quit. Blisters on my fingers? Don't quit. Bruises on my shins? Don't quit. Discouragement draped over my heart? Don't quit. Disappointment hanging out in my mind? Don't quit!
BUT...I'm fifty now. That changes a LOT of things!
There are some things I'm looking at and determining that it's indeed quite okay to quit in this season. The Bible has a verse that says there is a time for this and a time for that, I'm sure you're probably familiar with that one. Well, this is THAT time.
I've run myself ragged in the past trying to keep up, trying to be perfect, trying to be consistent, and trying to carry on come what may. Often, I've looked for acceptance and approval in all the wrong places. I'm not saying I'm failing at being a good person, or a faithful Christian for that matter, I'm saying I'm human...complete with flaws and misconceptions. What seems "right" often isn't because of our perspective, beliefs and past experiences. It is right not to quit certain things. Still, there may be things we have grown up believing about ourselves all our life - and it's now time to cut ourselves some slack and quit.
I'm sure we've all picked up some baggage along this road of life which we've just kept on carrying. I imagine if we could see each other's invisible baggage, we'd all be shocked at the massive loads. We pick up labels, ideas, impressions, triggers and coping mechanisms from experiences we've faced. We even build walls in the name of protecting ourselves and possibly keeping ourselves from future pain. My friend, we're not only carrying baggage, we're carrying complete walls!
I invited my Grand girls, ages 4 and almost-2, to spend the night with me the other night. We had a great time all afternoon then bedtime came. They went to sleep within ten minutes and I retired to my room to finish out my nightly routine. I suppose it was a little after 5:00a.m. when I heard a sound which I deciphered somewhere between the range of a cry and scream. The girls had went to bed together as they are accustomed to, but when I opened the door to take a peek, only one was still where she was supposed to be.
Then, I heard a noise coming from the kitchen and I quickly turned around. There my almost-2 year old climbing diva sat, ON TOP of our bar which she had pretty much been successful clearing off for God knows what. (I wish I could've seen her thoughts!) A brand new roll of paper towel had now been diminished to a half roll, the other half was now wadded up and thrown here and there. There were also snacks thrown all over the floor. Thankfully that's all the damage she had done at this point. I don't know how long she had been awake and on her little adventure or what more she might have gotten herself into, but I realized she only screamed out because she couldn't get back off the bar and onto the stool she had used to climb upward in the first place.
She just sat there looking at me. And though I was in shock at first...it quickly became comical - except that I was still tired and wanted to be in bed, not dealing with an awake grandchild that early in the morning. (Here sister never did anything like that! Exact opposites, I suppose.)
Her adventure had come to a screeching halt and she hollered out in an effort to say, "I quit!" I need help now. Please come to my rescue. I've made a mess.
Later, I thought about it. Isn't that exactly how I get at times? I too wad up "paper towel" and attempt to do things I know I shouldn't or am not capable of. I throw snacks everywhere as I get frustrated with life. I find myself in situations and circumstances that I can't get myself out of. Yes, and I carry around more than just my baby and blanket with me. It's heavy; I need to quit!
It's okay to let our guard down and admit that we struggle with things others cannot or won't ever see without looking deeply. It's nothing to be ashamed of when we have to admit that we deal with personal triggers, weaknesses and that we sometimes respond incorrectly - because we're carrying around baggage we should've put down long ago. It's ok to be in a mess, it's okay not to know and then to decide that we can't continue on like this. IT'S OKAY TO QUIT! Not the journey, but the craziness that weighs us down.
I was listening to a Ladies Conference online a few weeks ago. In fact, I sat in my chair with tears streaming down my face as the dear speaker spoke as if she was reading from the inside of my heart. She probably did so because she has had experience and been on the same path as me. So, what do I do when I realize I have an issue which needs the help of God to overcome? I write on a pink sticky note to remind myself it's okay to let go and let God.
I QUIT!
Yes, we stop our unsuccessful rambling and carrying on, and let out a scream to the One who can and is willing to help us back to a place of safety. (Good thing is, He is never tired and longing to be in bed like I was when dealing with my Grand.) We quit doing what we've always done and look for ways to respond differently. We look to God for guidance and ask Him to bring us out of the darkness. We ask Him to help us grow and heal from all the baggage we've unknowingly been carrying all this time. We give it to Him, day after day, until one day we realize we're finally free. We've quit the nonsense!
Like I said, sometimes we're carrying things we don't even realize. Also, sometimes others are responding to us because they're too carrying baggage of which we cannot see either. It's easy to think and feel like we are being targeted, when in all actuality, it's all about stuff we can't even see. Whether we're the one carrying the baggage, or we're dealing with someone who is, just quit. Quit shaming, judging, criticizing, or walking away from. QUIT. Lay it down and start anew. God always gives second chances and is eager to use even this moment to bring us closer to Him. He longs to heal and restore. Stop the craziness and bask in His grace and mercy, allowing Him to rescue. He is strong enough to carry us AND our baggage. We don't have to.
It's not in our ability or power to do so...but we CAN quit and let Him do the rest. He's waiting on us. Grab your pink sticky note cube and write it out:
"I QUIT!"