So, on this first day of bow season, I’m sitting sixteen feet off the ground with my hubby. It’s dark, about sixty-six degrees outside — and I’m just trying to breathe.
I love my husband. I enjoy nature. I like to have meat in the freezer. However, I DO NOT care for deer stands! My body always goes into an intensely, heightened alert mode, and the flight response is almost too overwhelming for me. Anxiety!
So, this morning before daybreak, I sit here holding on tightly to the chilled handrails even though I’m safely harnessed in. My equilibrium shaky. Blood pressure most likely elevated. I begin to speak positive affirmations to myself, then I pray, recite Bible verses, and sing songs of worship inside my head. That is the coping mechanism I'm using to keep me from screaming out from the top of my lungs, “I want to go home!”
And I think about life. There are often moments when I face darkness, the chill of uncertainty and plain old fear. You too? I know it’s because we live in a fallen world, but goodness, it can get overwhelming at times, can’t it? I find myself shutting down and holding on for dear life. (No pun intended!) I just want to run away and hide until it’s all over!
It’s in that state that I slowly come to my senses and start speaking to myself. Sometimes I just have to tell my flesh to stop and listen. Sometimes the fear still trumps my attempts at positivity. But there’s always the Word, a God who sees and hears, and songs of worship to soothe and calm me. These actions become more and more effective the more I perform them.
As day breaks, the birds begin to chirp and the squirrels begin to scurry…and I suddenly realize my nerves are calm and my heart is unrecognizably at peace. How blessed and satisfying it is! I’ve made it over another hurdle and gained some new territory and hope through my struggle with the height and darkness. Talking about joy coming in the morning! What hope!
As the sun begins to warm me and I settle in for the morning hunt, I’m thinking about the way God uses the simplest things to teach us valuable life lessons. I did not expect to have this peace that I’m enjoying right now! I think maybe sometimes we just need to do the thing that scares us anyhow. I don’t think God would have told us not to be afraid so many times in His Word if He would’ve thought we wouldn’t be so. It’s okay, if I - if we - will just praise through it. Fear doesn’t have to stop us from experiencing what God has for us. He is bigger than any obstacle!
So, I’ll be leaving the woods today with a trophy. It might not be a furry one with horns, but it will definitely be one of victory. It’s one I’m pleased and blessed to share with the world, and more than happy to hold up bravely in the face of the enemy.
I am triumphant because I belong to Jesus and I’m learning to trust Him and turn to Him more and more. That’s more than satisfying! The journey, my friend, is often as difficult as it is rewarding . It’s true! The struggles are painful and real, but the victory is oh, so sweet. Hold on during the darkness, the struggle, the disappointment, the fear and failure. Keep on praising through the fear.
Hold on till morning! Joy isn’t always exuberant and bubbly; sometimes it’s simply a calm and steady assurance like what I’m presently experiencing perched atop this tree stand. God is with me, and in Him there is no failure at all.